People Power - July 2010

By Scott Humphrey

Summer is here, and I am fully engaged in America’s summer pastime: baseball. I currently coach my 11-year-old son’s all-star team. It is amazing the things you can learn from interacting with young people. Many of the issues that plague these young athletes also plague adults, personally and professionally. After all, it is said that the majority of our personality is set in stone by the time we reach our teen years. As a coach, I have noted one thing that frustrates me beyond measure. I really struggle with players that can’t or won’t be coached.

With this in mind, in this survey issue, I want to discuss the quality that I believe has the greatest opportunity to impact personal and professional success at any age. The skill I am speaking of is the ability to receive and process feedback. Just as organizations throughout our industry will be reviewing the results of this issue’s survey and determining what to do with what they glean, you and I are likely receiving feedback continually from a variety of sources. How do we react, and how do we respond?

Some people refer to the propensity to take feedback and apply it as “teachability,” and rightfully so. Those who have mastered the art of receiving feedback are most likely the ones who aren’t satisfied with simply learning from their mistakes but are willing to listen to those who have fresh insights and experience in life.

Let’s look first at why people resist feedback.

Ego is the enemy of success. Some people believe they have arrived. They view themselves as better than others and see no need to listen to those who are “inferior” to them. As I have noted in earlier articles, “The higher you rise, for some reason, the harder it is to hear.” Since very few are gifted from birth, these individuals have forgotten the struggles they faced to get where they are. They hold themselves to a different standard. They tend to listen only to those who they respect as higher up the ladder than themselves. They miss the insight of their employees, their spouse and their children.

Low self-esteem can greatly impact the ability to receive and process feedback. The causes of low self esteem vary but are often inflicted by an authority figure in one’s life. These individuals are broken and hear feedback as a way to justify the negative feelings they already have toward themselves. They have likely failed in a past endeavor, and it has been held over their head. They do not realize that failure is an event, not a person. Those who manage these people must be careful not to exacerbate the problem. Bosses that do not see the best in their people do not get the best from their people.

Getting better just doesn’t seem to matter to some people. They are satisfied with good enough. These individuals cause the most frustration and can impact the rest of a team or family with their “no need to excel” mentality. They have a tendency to undermine the reputations of those who excel and are not satisfied with the status quo. These are also the employees that tend to quit but stay. They can become a cancer to an organization if allowed to hold onto their “good enough” mentality.

Feedback isn’t accepted if an individual doesn’t respect the source from which it comes. This can actually be a viable reason to disregard feedback. Stan Beechum, a clinical psychologist, once noted that, “Unless someone has been where you want to be, done what you want to do, or knows what you want to know, it is your choice whether or not you will listen to their criticism.” That is why it is important for individuals to share their background and experience with their team and family periodically—to let them know why they are qualified to give feedback.

The feedback is not given in the right spirit. Be cautious here. Stan Beechum seems to offer an “out” above, but he also notes that, “even feedback that is given with the intent of doing damage can have a nugget of truth in it.” Though the receiver may not like the person delivering it or the way it is delivered, that does not negate the value of what is being said. Get past the messenger to access the opportunity in the message.

Now, let’s look at what should be done with feedback.

Seek it out. That’s right; ask for it. If you go looking for constructive input from those you respect, you lessen the risk of being caught off guard by unsolicited feedback from those you don’t.

I mentioned at the start of this column that I am coaching my son’s baseball team. That is actually the catalyst for this article. I have one young man who has been practicing with us, but he did not make the all-stars. He will not be allowed to play but never misses a practice. Brantley, unlike many on the team who believe it is their right to play, considers his ability to practice with this team a privilege. He not only accepts feedback, he seeks it out. Why? He wants to get better. It sounds simple, but it is truly profound. Those who want to get better seek out feedback. In like manner, organizations that want to get better hunger for feedback from their customer and their customer’s customer on how they can improve.

Receive advice without letting emotion get in the way. Often the element that keeps us from receiving the feedback we truly need is the emotional response we have to it. This emotional response is a defense mechanism that is meant to protect us from undue criticism. Unfortunately, especially in those with low self esteem, this defense goes on the offensive and creates a wall that keeps us from hearing anything that might be perceived as negative. Whenever possible, individuals should prepare themselves for feedback by committing not to be controlled by emotion. Note that I did not say do not become emotional. Emotion is the catalyst to change. I realize this is easier said than done, but it is vital not to allow this wall to keep you from hearing feedback that can make you better.

Control the urge to defend. Stephen Covey says it best in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Habit #5 states, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” That same safety mechanism that will cause you to want to hide behind your emotional response to feedback will feel the need to defend your current status. Your defense only creates depth in the wall that seeks to keep you where you currently are. This can severely limit your ability to grow and improve.

Say “Thank You!” If you come across as ungrateful, eventually the feedback will stop. This is the worst thing that can happen. Your continued growth is directly tied to your ability to gather input from various sources and apply that directly to your performance. When possible, let your source know how you plan to use their input and promise to keep them updated on your progress.

Act on it. Remember Brantley, the young man I mentioned above as the player who did not make the all-star team but practices with us anyway? I noted that he seeks out our feedback, but if he simply sought it out and his performance never improved, eventually we would spend our time as coaches helping to improve the performance of those who were willing to act. When those who care enough to give feedback do not see you focusing on changing, they will quit wasting their time. By the way, Brantley is currently performing better than several of the young men who made the team.

In this issue, suppliers will be receiving feedback from dealers. Each will have to determine what, if anything, they will do with that feedback. You have the same choice every day.

I trust that you are one of those people who desires to be your best in all that you do. Working harder and smarter will certainly move you down the road to success. But what if there were a better way? There is a reason that the world’s greatest golfers have on average three coaches—driving, short game, putting—helping them improve their game. They realize they have not arrived. If these athletes are willing to take and pay dearly for feedback, doesn’t it only make sense that we should be accepting feedback to improve our lives?

So seek out feedback. Control your emotional response to what you hear. Listen without the goal of defending your current practices. Thank the provider of the feedback. And finally, act on your new insight. When you do these things, you will have separated yourself from the masses and forwarded yourself down the road toward success.

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